“I called Megan. I was like, ‘You aren’t here for me,'” he revealed in a shocking confession.
Machine Gun Kelly detailed a disturbing phone call he made to Megan Fox shortly after the death of his father in 2020 — a call on which Kelly put a shotgun in his mouth and nearly pulled the trigger.
The musician made the confession in his new Hulu documentary, “Machine Gun Kelly’s Life In Pink,” opening up about a very dark moment in his life after his dad passed away on July 5, 2020.
“I flew to my dad’s apartment to clear all his stuff out. I had this really weird interaction with this neighbor who told me all these things I didn’t want to hear and that f—ed me up even more because I couldn’t get closure on it,” said Kelly, who has opened up in the past about having a tough relationship with his father due to his unruliness as a teen.
“I wouldn’t leave my room and I started getting really, really, really dark,” Kelly continued in the doc. “Megan went to Bulgaria to shoot a movie and I started getting this really wild paranoia. Like, I kept getting paranoid that someone was gonna come and kill me.”
“I would always sleep with this shotgun next to my bed. One of the days I just f—ing snapped. I called Megan. I was like, ‘You aren’t here for me.’ I’m in my room and I’m, like, freaking out on her,” he recalled. “I put the shotgun in my mouth. And I’m yelling on the phone and like the barrel’s in my mouth. And I go to cock the shotgun and the bullet, as it comes back up, the shell just gets jammed.”
Saying Fox was “like dead silent” at that point, he said that’s when he realized “something’s not right” — as he pointed at his own head. He said both Megan and his daughter Cassie came to him separately and expressed concern as well — telling him, “I want to be able to see in your eyes, I don’t want to be like talking to you through a veil anymore. I want to see you as my father, I want to see you as my husband-to-be.'”
“And I was like, ‘I need to kick the drugs, for real this time,” said Kelly, who didn’t mention whether he had been using drugs at the time elsewhere in his story.
The rapper said he visited his father in the hospital a couple days before his death, but his dad didn’t believe Kelly was actually there. “The last thing he said to me, ‘Colson … you’re not here. Am I in heaven?” shared the musician, whose real name is Colson Baker. “He was like, ‘You’re not here but I love that I’m seeing you right now.'”
“I had this conversation with him even though he was clearly just checking out. But I turned around and I was like, ‘Dad, I love you so much and I’m so sorry for how we lived this life together. We’ll do it better on the next one,'” said Kelly. “He thought he was in heaven, he thought I was an angel.”
In the doc, Kelly also praised Fox for becoming “like the sun to me,” someone who he “revolved around and gives me life and helps me grow.” He celebrated her for inspiring his music, adding that the “passion between us is just otherworldly.”
“I know I’ve known her in so many other lifetimes,” he said. “That’s what makes my pen move so much.”
“Machine Gun Kelly’s Life In Pink” is streaming now on Hulu.
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression or has had thoughts of harming themselves or taking their own life, get help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) provides 24/7, free, confidential support for people in distress.